The Impact of a cheating wife on a Marriage
And, the changes brought about by adultery differ from person to person and couple to couple, depending on strengths, coping patterns, history, temperament and other factors for the person and the marriage.
And, so expectations are built and entrenched in concrete. Their picture of their marriage excludes even the remote possibility of one person “straying.”
And when an extra-marital affair happen, worlds (expectations) are shattered and many wonder what is left.
Case study #1:
Most of what I think about now and spend most of my time thinking about is…Why? How could she do this to me? To us? I NEVER EVER thought this would happen! On rough days, unfortunately that is still most days, I feel like a failure. A worthless fool. I had always felt I/we knew what our life was and where I/we wanted to go in our life together. Now there are times when I feel our whole life together was a lie. I’m afraid I will spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and never really letting her in again. Although we are trying to put his affair behind us I don’t know if we will ever get back even close to what we had, or should I say what I thought we had.
And, then there is the sexual tension created by the extra-marital affair. And, the almost inevitable sexual comparison with the other person. If sex has been a focal point of the affair, the comparison takes on a new life.
Case Study #2:
The EXTREMELY LURID nature of my wife’s affair has left me with a shattered self esteem and trust is out of the question. Even though we’ve reconciled and she has been in intense treatment with a therapist, I have a very difficult time becoming intimate. The OP is still on my mind 8 months later and resentment still runs very deep. I keep thinking about the signs of cheating. I still feel I’m living a nightmare, hoping I’ll wake up any moment.
Adultery, whether is be emotional, sexual or internet cheating disrupts, no, it’s more like throws a hammer into, the marriage.
Adultery in a marriage demands that new structures, new rules, new ways of thinking and acting with each other be initiated.
Of course there is tension in the process. (Gold is refined through intense heat.)
But, there is also huge possibilities for redesign and a new configuration for one’s inner life and life together.
Here are some resources you can plug into to help you begin the emotional recovery of your spouses extra-marital affair.
Break Free From the Affair
Save Your Marriage Ebook
One on One Personal Coaching
Yes, you can talk about it. Ask your burning questions. Accelerate your healing process. Find the best words and phrases to stop the marital crisis. Get the affirmation that empowers. Click here for more information.